Dear Karen

I am with a guy for two and a half years and in love, but he wants other women and there is nothing I can do to change that. He says that he loves me but can’t and doesn’t want to stop… I can’t let go…help!

I’m really sorry for you. Your letter is so short and sad and I can only advise you on how this probably feels. Firstly I know you have very strong feelings for him and 2 and a half years is a long time.
For some people having an open relationship is okay. For me it wouldn’t be and if it were okay for you then you wouldn’t be writing to me. I think anyone is capable of being faithful. The point is and you say it in your letter, he doesn’t want to stop. It’s his choice and it’s your choice whether you stay with him or not. In a relationship one of the most important things is to want to make your partner happy – what you can give to your partner? What you can bring to the relationship? How can you help them grow? That is what I believe makes a healthy relationship. Your partner is doing something that makes you unhappy. He is telling you though and being honest and you have the choice whether to stay or go. You can be with someone who’s priority is to make you happy and care for you and I know that your feelings are strong but this is not the guy, not now anyway.
If you let go of him – know in your heart that you are letting go of something that was not helping you as a person. Letting go will help you grow and find self- respect. I hope you can.
Love Karen